God anytime, abeg!
Have you ever been scrolling through your timeline on Instagram and blurted ‘God When’, because you saw a picture of your favorite couple all loved up in matching pajamas or because you saw a video of a colleague of yours shaking their ass in a thong on a yacht in Dubai. Don’t be shy, you’re not alone.
However the grass is not always greener on the other side. These three people explain how they learnt the truth behind the saying, ‘All that glitters is not gold’.
From God when to God abeg o.
Kitan*, 26
There was this couple I used to frequently cross paths with at my favorite mall. I admired them a lot. I observed that the guy would always hold his car door open for his woman upon arrival and departure. During times like this I would resist the urge to yell, “GOD when? Am I your stepdaughter?”
That’s how I started badgering my boyfriend to start acting cute but, he just seemed not to get it😭. Anyway, I jammed the babe one day at the checkout section at the mall alone and I blurted out that I liked the way her man was such a gentleman towards her.
This babe responded by laughing o. She even did a tufiakwa–God forbid– sign over her head. Apparently, the car door handle had once broken in her hands and the guy forbade her from opening the door by herself ever again.
At first, I didn’t want to believe it but then again, she had no reason to lie. I jejely reset my brain to appreciate my not-so-romantic relationship as it was.
Bukky*, 23
See, if tension was ever a person, it would be Loveth. Loveth was my bunkie and she had the perfect life. Even though I regard myself as a content person, I couldn’t help but admire her lifestyle from afar.
One day while teasing her to show me the way, she suddenly got serious and asked if I really wanted to know the way. I just backed up like “I just dey whine you o”. I mean, why the sudden seriousness?
Later on, a new girl joined us as roommates. They became friends fast and sure enough, she too started popping. I packed out a few months later partially because the oppression was getting to me. I can’t even lie.
To cut the story short, I ran into the new girl one day and we got talking. I was still expressing how much I missed Loveth when this babe started crying.
Apparently, hookup was the way to their lavish lifestyle and she was nursing an illness at that time.
Niyi*, 28
I was never a fan of love till I saw close-up how sweet it could be through one of my gees, Jibola. Him and his babe’s love was like Instagram in real life and I was beginning to soften my resolve against marriage.
Well, at least till I found out first-hand that this babe beats my guy like a talking drum. One day, we were chilling in the living room and at some point she excused herself. Jibola then went after her. I was even thinking they were excusing themselves one by one to get naughty.
All of a sudden, I heard a slap followed by apologies from Jibola. Ah, Jibola Escobar, being beaten up by a girl!? I was in shock. He opened up to me days later that his babe is really violent. Anyway, that was the final cinch in the belt for me and I have not given marriage a second thought ever again.
I think my parents too are beginning to get it. Baby mama, maybe. But, that marriage issue? Dead it.
#PeopleTalk is a submissions segment for everyday people to talk straight about the twists and turns of everyday life. This edition tells the stories of three people who learnt not to admire what others had the hard way.
