What To Expect When House Hunting In Lagos

7 unexpected things to expect while searching for property in Lagos

When one is house hunting, the usual advice is to make a budget, know what your budget can afford(size or type of apartment), look for an agent, relate your need to this fellow and let them take it up. They should call back in a few days with options that match your criteria. All of this would happen in a normal world, but as we know, things are far from normal in the city of Lagos.

When you want to start house hunting in Lagos, get ready for this list of obstacles that will make you ask shey you will not go and be living under bridge bayi?

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1. FINDING AN AGENT: When you want to rent or buy property in Lagos, don’t even think you can walk up to any house and say you want to check out the vacant apartment. Nobody will even answer you. You better find one agent in those shops where they write room to let, self con available, two bedroom flat available, three bedroom apartment flat available – everything is available right? Leemao, just wait and see, your blood’s gonna dry.

2. PAYING FOR FORM: Now that you have seen the agent, they will tell you to pay for a form. This is where it starts getting funny because this form is just a photocopy, but the price for this form is always around N3000 – N5000 at Lagos mainland sha. If you don’t pay, they will not take you seriously (tbh, they will never take you seriously but you will sha pay). Mind you they say this fee covers their transportation when you guys go for house inspections but lori iro!

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3. FILLING FORM: Some people argue the form is necessary but when house hunting in Lagos, filling any form before seeing the house is pointless. You will end up meeting with multiple agents and have your details (and money) scattered far and wide. Mind you the questions some of these agents ask you to answer, you should only find when applying for a visa or passport.

4. HOUSE INSPECTION: Now that you have paid for the form, these agents from hell will start calling to tell you they have found the perfect house for you and if you don’t hurry down to check this house, someone else will take it. You too, you will start rushing because you don’t want your village people to get you. Only for you to get there and if there is no cemetery right there at the entrance then it is an uncompleted building. If it’s not any of those, then the compound is absolutely horrible. Point is, the house is just not going to be good! 

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5. MEETING THE LANDLORD: Just imagine, as you are still checking the house, the owner of the house shows up and starts asking what you do for a living. Just answer banker or engineer, because to them, digital marketer, content creator, bitcoin trader, etc. to them = yahoo boy and model, skincare therapist, entrepreneur = olosho. If you are a lady, always chip “my fiance” into almost every statement – this one seems like we are teaching you to lie, but don’t worry, you will thank us later.

6. MORE MONEY: When you try to complain about point 4, they will tell you that it is your budget (which they said was perfect) that caused it but if you can add small money, they will get you one apartment that is just perfect. Next thing you will start asking yourself “should I just find more money to add to my budget?” Hellooooo, don’t! 

7. NEVER PERFECT: When you finally settle in the house you think is perfect, surprise surprise, something will be wrong when you have to move in. E sure for us die! The house can never be what they sold you, you will sha have to fix something.

We hope with these few points of ours, we have been able to convince you of the confusion that comes with house hunting in Lagos. It’s not for the weak.

#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition is a warning to any naive individual that thinks house hunting in Lagos is easy.