I no go fit take your insult o!
There are a lot of things annoying the average Nigerian at any point in time; traffic, inflation, the sun, floods, unstable electricity, fuel, the listicle of annoyances just goes on.
If you then want to add salt to injury and offend them–without even trying? Say these five things.
1. Telling Them To ‘Ask Google’
Fantastic! It’s not enough that the question did not come with a stock answer so they had to ask but you have the guts to refer them back to Google.
Are you implying that they are dumb for not thinking to check Google? Some nerve you have.
2. Wishing Them ‘All The Best’
“All the best” to a Nigerian? After baring their heart and soul? Just tell them to jump into the lagoon. Take your whitey greeting to the bank.
3. Telling Them To Do Something ‘ASAP’
Do you know how terrible how their day already is? How dare you say ASAP, like they should drop everything they are doing? Just to cater to you?
Either you say it in full as in “as soon as possible” or you enter their black book.
4. Saying “I’m Short Of Words”
Since tall people like to go on power trips, I sense a potential for violence here. So here it is; tell a vertically oppressed Nigerian that you are short of words and watch them go cross-eyed.
If you ask us, we will tell you that these people are just naturally angry and it’s not your fault.
5. Telling Them That They ‘Will Be Fine’
This works too, for when they just poured their heart out to you, and here’s how it will be interpreted–you don’t care enough or you think they are seeking sympathy.
You have not only bruised their pride and insulted their existence, but you have also gained a new foe. But then, what’s life without foes, anyway?
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humour and a dash of sarcasm. This edition highlights different 5 ways to offend a Nigerian without trying.
