Dominate your wardrobe again!
Women stealing men’s clothes is not a relationship flex, it is harassment–wardrobe harassment–and the Tribe is here to bring it to a stop.
Dear men, take the reins of your wardrobe back with any of these five steps:
1. Set Up A Mini Zoo In Your Wardrobe
Nothing dissolves a lady’s interest faster than the presence of reptiles in their space. One divine encounter with an army of cockroaches parading your hoodie will encourage them to be content with their clothes.
2. Go Naked
Abi? Instead of wasting money to buy clothes that end up disappearing from your wardrobe, why not go back to how it was before Grandpa Adam ate the apple?
And if you worry that you will be mistaken for a Yabaleft escapee, you are worrying for nothing. Minimalism is the new cool!
3. Cover Yourself With Leaves
Maybe your sense of modesty won’t allow you to go naked, you can opt for leaves–following in the footsteps of your forefathers still. Cover yourself with leaves but use your imagination, please. You are a human being, not moi-moi.
While you are doing all of this to prevent assault, you don’t want to be seen as unfashionable.
4. Slim Fit Your Body
There is nothing our tailor friends from the north can’t run sharp sharp. In fact, it’s their deftness with jeans that assures us that your organs are in good hands.
In the end, with your body and organs sized to let’s say, a size 2, you will have no need for “comfy” clothes.
5. Accept Your Fate
If you feel like any of these steps are too outrageous for you, then accept your fate. Na you see relationship talk say you wan enter. Don’t stress us, please.
We hope our undying affection for you shined through in this piece. It’s all love as always.
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading 2 shots of humour and a dash of sarcasm. This edition highlights five ways to make women stop stealing your clothes.
