Parte after parte!
Welcome to Detty December, the season of lit. If you are like us, you can’t wait to paint the town red and go astray. So what are the things you need?
Check out our Detty December starter below to get a head start.
1. Money (Redesigned Notes)
Money answereth all things but especially, it answers the call of Detty December. So from now to mid-month, get your resources together. Ask for a salary advance, add it to the remnants of your November salary, pack that ajo, and/or sell your family’s properties.
The aim is for you to ball. Think about the consequences later.
2. Accent
It’s another year of the battle between us locales vs IJGB. Ensure you revise and perfect all the Bri-ish and American accents you have been learning on Netflix.
3. A Bomb Outfit
You know this. A Detty December outfit just has to tick all of the boxes for bomb. Ladies, yours is a piece from a tailor who is stingy with fabrics, and for men, it is anything that leaves your quads and biceps on full display [think ripped shorts and vintage shirts].
Monstrous boots, too? Yes, please. Whatever you do, keep this in mind: those IJGB folks cannot win!
4. Tickets and House Parties Invite
Tickets and house parties invite are the palliative of Detty December, you have to hoard them. Say this to yourself: I am a Tribe member. Living through people’s IG stories is not my portion. Things don’t happen to me. I happen to things. I am the happening babe. Amen.
5. Condoms
Stock up on condoms and carry them everywhere, it is called Detty December for a reason. The meet and greet are both physically and genitally inclined.
Doesn’t matter if you have your multiplier system padlocked or you have one strong Agbo, suiting up is non-negotiable.
6. Braids
Wasting precious time laying frontals when braids only take a few seconds to set is one mistake you should avoid this season. Switch to braids, and in just one swift Shuku, you don dey road. Time is of the essence this season, dears.
7. Riders On Speed Dial
Traffic is one of the weapons you should already expect to be fashioned against you this season, that’s why our starter pack suggests you have riders on speed dial. While your less informed counterparts bake in the hot sun, you don reach the location.
Wahala for islanders.
8. Media Equipment
All drip, but no quality media to back it up? Not on our watch.
Secure a selfie stand, a selfie ring light, and a well-charged power bank so you can document content for your fans and also have something consolatory to watch when sapa hits you later in January.
9. Fuel
This one is just here as a reminder. Buy fuel. Lots of fuel. Fuel for your car. Fuel for your generator. We know you have this covered but please, buy fuel.
#Unsolicited is a segment for reviews and opinion pieces. This edition showcases everything that makes up this year’s Detty December pack.
