Love na your mate?
Love will turn you into mumu! Once in love, you will just find yourself doing crazy and funny things for your boo happily. And as a reward, they will chop the breakfast of their lives. Minus me sha. I am not even a preacher of love, to start with.
Anyways, I spoke to three people recently about their mumu button stories. Are you like them too?
Janet*, 31
Have you sponsored your ex’s court wedding unknowingly?
That’s what happened to me. I saw banza shege! Femi, if you’re reading this, my creator will judge you.
The story he cooked up for me was that he was owing a guy like 500k. And the creditor was embarrassing him everywhere. I trusted this guy with all of my heart, so I did not even doubt his story for a sec.
I rallied the funds from my Piggyvest and my friends. Two weeks later, a friend sent a picture of Femi having a court wedding–with another woman. This guy and I had said I love you to each other the previous night. Femi can not make heaven, on God!
Like my sister would say and I quote, “Trust a Nigerian man and die young.” In short, “Everybody na scum.”
Na mumu dey love!
Frank*, 26
“I will never do this for love, I will never do that” That was my mantra till I met Cynthia. Mehn, I loved that babe! During our talking stage, she would always say that she preferred intentional men who apply ‘pressure’.
That’s how I turned into an abundant mumu. We were undergraduates at the time so I was not that ‘flush’. Yet, I would order chicken and chips (plus delivery) for her every darn night. I’m sure that sounds like the barest minimum but I was really broke then.
All my focus was on getting her to say yes. I even ruined my sleep schedule, calling her day and night. Eventually, she said yes but we did not even pass 3 months.
She just woke up one day and decided to end it. According to her, my care and attention had dwindled once she said yes. That was coming from the same babe that never claimed me in public. Never even posted me on her social media once.
Omo, I just lock up on love and joined the ‘plant dad’ crew.
Lanre*, 24
I was a big mumu for love while I was in secondary school. I sold a really expensive watch I borrowed from a friend to take my girlfriend on a date.
Eventually, the guy had to forget the money because I could not return even 30% of my debt after a month. But, did I stop there? No. I went ahead to pay for her JAMB and WAEC exams.
And the gag was this babe was actually well taken care of by her parents. She just happened to have a mumu like me as a boyfriend so, she would spend the one from home and collect from me too.
See, I sold my laptop for this girl’s sake too because she needed a phone. She never cheated or anything though. But I was just an ATM to her till I woke up!
#Peopletalk is a submissions segment for everyday people to talk straight about the twists and turns of everyday life. This edition features the stories of three Nigerians that became mumu for love.
