Nobody wey no fit to make am!
A wise man once said, “Nobody wey no fit to make am o!” While that may be true, there categories of people that are convinced that they have made it more than everyone else in this life–categories of people who do the most.
Today we will be spilling the tea. Get your teacups out and shiny! Here is a list of people that think they have made it in life. Have they though?
1. Women In Charge Of Owambe Food
You are on the top of our list. Why exactly, ma? It’s not like you can eat everything. Yet we will still be begging to be fed in a party they used letter to invite us with?
Our meeting is at the Lord’s feet.
2. Anti-BBN Gang
These ones form all high and mighty because you don’t watch Big Brother Naija. BBN is not the cause of our problems in this country.
Better watch and stop forming woke.
3. iPhone Users
It’s not by having three raven eyes as back cameras o, but let me off my mic before they will say I’m a pained Android user. We are sure they pack audacity with the iPhones because the rate at which iPhone users look down on other phones is crazy.
4. Bankers
If you like, yell from morning till night about being delayed they will tell you in their well-ironed suits to join the queue. Do you need your account issue resolved or not?
We know how you people used to beg us to come and open an account with your bank o. But okay!
5. Sugar Babies
If I had one too, I would definitely not know how to act! Where una dey find these sugar daddies and mummies, connect us too?
6. Secondary School Prefects
Kindly applaud the school influencers. They will make sure to exert their power at every chance they get. Who are you not to add ‘prefect’ before their name.
Any small ‘disrespect’ like this, best believe you will pick litter, kneel down or cut grass.
7. Yahoo Boys and Their Partners
We get it. Who would not misbehave if they also scam in foreign currency? Try and be humble sha or are EFCC whistlers a joke to you?
We are talking to the ‘Emi Oga-s’ too.
8. AirPods Users
AirPods on agbada, AirPods on wedding garment, can you ever? No. Cause an AirPods user will claim you haven’t fully enjoyed music until you use AirPods.
It’s not even like their AirPods are always original, thank God Apple has decided to make it possible to verify fake Airpods now.
9. Social Media Influencers
You fit shout from morning till night for a follow back and they will do like they did not see it.
Feeling yourself, right?
10. Anime Lovers
You will think you are a loser for finding normal movies interesting if you interact with an anime lover. To them, watching anime makes you cooler, smarter and more in vogue than every other person in the world.
11. HR Officers
Human Resource officers will make sure to show you pepper. Thank God, man no be God. If not, we might even have to do house chores for them in the name of work.
12. WhatsApp Group Moderators
All power belongs to your fingers, sir and ma. Any small broadcast message like this, you have lashed them. Any small vex, you will threaten to remove them from the group.
All this shouting, should the angels also threaten to remove you from the book of life?
13. Exam Invigilators
Invigilators act as though they were not also students at some point. No breathing space to even ask your neighbor for help.
We did not forget the favourite students that are chosen by teachers to invigilate others–overdo people.
14. Mama Put
Once they see the queue for their amala is long, all of a sudden their attitude will triple. If they tell you no change and you’re speaking grammar they will give you the option of going away so that another serious person can buy.
15. People That Snap With Oyinbo
We are not even going to unpack how seeing that as an achievement is weird. Cause you see these people? They will not hesitate to remind you with throwbacks that they have snapped and interacted with oyinbo.
And so?
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition reveals people that act like they have made it in life.
