Alpha male or alpha-bet 🙂?
Even though it is being proven that alpha males are a myth, some Nigerian men insist that they are alphas. Recently, we discovered that some have been paying a Twitter influencer for alpha male lessons. All well and good.Â
We have compiled ten things that disqualifies you as a “Nigerian Alpha male”. It’s okay if any of these things disqualify you, just accept your normal manhood. Not everyone can be ‘George of the jungle’ or Tarzan.
1. You Scream Whenever Pepper Gets Into Your EyesÂ
It does not matter whether it happened when you were struggling with the ponmo in your soup, you can’t be an alpha male and still be screaming when pepper enters your eye. Lick salt and shake it off.
2. You Are Not The Firstborn Of Your HouseÂ
Alpha males are always the leader of the pack. I repeat, always. Kindly explain why you are calling yourself an alpha male when you are not even leading the rank with your siblings.
3. You Smile While Watching Couple Videos
As an alpha male, you can not be caught simping over anything that isn’t a wrestling or boxing match. Always an Indaboski, never a preacher of love.
So if you are always smiling while watching couple videos, you are automatically disqualified from the race!
4. You Split The Bill When You Go On Dates
Being an Alpha male is a whole package of being superior –financially, mentally, socially. You can not claim alpha male when it’s house chores but want equality with bills. Nope!
5. You Double Check Your Toilet Before Sitting
As an alpha male, you can not be scared of snakes coming through the toilet pipes. A reptile is nothing. Look to Tarzan, the original alpha male, he fears no living thing. Steadily communicating members of the animal kingdom is a plus.Â
6. You Are Not A Leo, Virgo, Capricorn, Aries Or SagittariusÂ
According to astrology, alpha males are usually Aries, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius or Capricorn. Cancer, Pisces, Aquarius, Taurus, Gemini, Libra and Scorpio men just fall out, the alpha male journey isn’t yours to face.
7. You Whimper At The sight Of Needles
Alpha male, but you are scared of injections and fidget at the sight of a syringe? Are you also not embarrassed? The real alpha males poke their bodies with sharp objects for fun.
8. You Cry While Cutting Onions
Under no circumstances should an alpha male’s tears shall be seen. Any alpha male never sheds tears while cutting onions must be banished from the kingdom–for cutting onions in the first place and for crying!
9. You Are Not Tall
How can you even claim alpha male when you are shorter than your doorframe. Come on, short king would be a more sufficient title. Anyone shorter than 6’4 is unfit to be called an alpha male.
10. You Do Not Have A Deep Voice
If the sound of your voice doesn’t thunder and make walls reverberate, we hate to break it down to you but you are NOT an alpha male. How do you want to command other men with a tiny voice ehn? You need a deep voice to be assertive.
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition highlights ten things that naturally disqualify you as an alpha male.
