Adonitology: The worship of butts!
Who knew that one day, Ikebe (the bum) would come to reign supreme and have a whole religion dedicated to it?
What Is Adonitology?
Adonitology is the religion of worshipping buttocks and it is dedicated to curvy women all over the world. The word “Adonitology” comes from Adonis (Aphrodite’s mortal lover from Greek mythology) and is meant to be practiced by women with curves or people who love them.
The religion is meant to be some kind of empowerment, to help curvy women feel comfortable about their bodies.
About The Founder
We would like to ignore the fact that the church’s website was down and focus in what we found about the founder. King Adonis 1, was born on the 17th May, 1971 in Chicago and he believes he is a reincarnated version of God.
I wonder why he is not been held responsible for all the hardship we go through everyday. Anyhow, Mr. God’s reincarnate is a talented musician. As a matter of fact, he is regarded by some as the messiah of R&B .
Signed under Dream Records, King Adonis 1 creates music around love, beauty and sensual beauty.
Discipleship
Believers of this religion are called Adonitologists and according to the tradition of the religion (which is explained in the sacred book of Adonitology), these people are the ones who have found the light and are free from poverty, ignorance, and self destruction.
Mode of worship
He claims he had a “visit” from the people upstairs- Christ, Holy Spirit (a curvaceous being, according to King Adonis 1) and one angel–all of whom have clear “instructions” to form a religion for curvy women with butts and write a book for them–Holy Book Of Adonai.
He commissioned twerking as the religion’s official dance, so members of the church are to shake what their mama/doctor gave them while “worshipping”.
Final Word
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something makes you realize that you can never see it all.
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