“Advice is seldom welcome”
Sometimes, people are just not ready for the truth. Until a person is mentally ready to make a shift, any and every advice you give them will fall on deaf ears or worse, be misinterpreted.
To further prove this point, here are the ugly experiences of three Nigerians which made them vow to stop advising people:
Kayode*, 25
One of my gees asked me to link him up with one of my female friends knowing fully well that I am aware he is in a serious relationship.
By all means, I linked them. The babe was a devout Christian, so out of concern I tried to advise her. As far as I knew, she believed in dating to marry and would not be up for the kind of flings my guy was known for.
Talk about the righteous indignation of the ignorant. She repeated everything I told her to my guy–I kid you not. That made me come across as a fool and a ‘bad belle’. I decided to fold my arms and see how things would unfold.
Anyway, Gabriel delivered more than I had feared. We all got to know about his wedding through WhatsApp. I laughed ehn. I know that experience would make her wiser in the ways of the world.
Kola*, 29
My family is polygamous but we were all closely knit–all the children in the house hung out frequently together. When the issue about Bimpe’s wedding came up, I was naturally one of the first five people to know.
According to the groom-to-be, he couldn’t have an elaborate wedding due to spiritual reasons. He still had every plan to perform all the necessary rites in asking for my youngest sister’s hand in marriage. Just that no more than twenty people would be in attendance from both families.
Needless to say, Bisi’s mum was not having it. As a big brother to Bisi, I called her to the side to give my two cents. Omo, the gbas gbos that ensued from doing that almost tore my family apart. I became the bad guy.
To make it worse, the wedding also scattered. Turned out Bisi was already pregnant for someone else and it was ectopic. The groom-to-be eventually had to use half the money he had saved up to clear hospital bills. He stopped picking Bisi’s calls as soon as she was discharged from the hospital.
Ejiro*, 27
Mine was a case of a friend who would ask me for advice and go ahead to the opposite. I don’t even know why I bothered.
Maybe I felt obliged to be her sounding board seeing as she was battling with a lot–bad choices in men, low self esteem and favoritism, just to name a few.
The day everything went to hell, we were chatting about how another guy cheated on her. Apparently, me telling her to focus on herself and live a healthy life was beyond my boundary.
I noticed she had stopped replying but unknowingly to me, madam had taken to her WhatsApp Status to drag me in grand style. Apparently, I was the cruel friend who minimized people’s pain and refused to understand the streets were wild because I had a stable long-term relationship.
Anyway, I still wish her well, but it can never be me again.
#PeopleTalk is a submissions segment for everyday people to talk straight about the twists and turns of everyday life. This edition tells the stories of how three people realized that not everyone deserves to be advised.
