You are a survivor, never a victim!
Nothing justifies maltreatment or abuse of a fellow human being. Following the unfortunate news of late gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, who allegedly suffered domestic violence, it became paramount for the tribe to share insight on surviving an abusive relationship.
Anyone can fall victim to abuse, it is never about how smart or ‘sinful’ a person is. Nevertheless, being intentional about your healing and life after, is definitely a step in the right direction.
On that note, here is some insight to help you on your journey as a survivor of abuse. Never blame yourself!
1. Leave
The first step to surviving an abusive relationship is leaving. Leaving is the hardest but most important step to survive. You need to leave that situation permanently.
Remove yourself from close proximity to the abuser and cut off all communications too. Out of sight will eventually become out of mind. Giving your abuser an open access to you will only bolden them to think they still have a shot at repeating the abuse or worse gaslight you into thinking you’re making the abuse up.
If there is a little voice in your head telling you otherwise, you need to jazz up. There is no relationship worth losing your life over. Leave!
2. Seek Professional Help
Abusive relationships are traumatic and leave too many scars. Seeking professional help like therapy can help you heal. These professionals are well trained to guide you through a structured healing process even if you relapse.
Organizations like the Mirabel Centre in Lagos provide mental and legal help to survivors.
3. Build A Strong Support System
Abusers tend to isolate their victims from their loved ones–it is their pattern. Go ahead and rebuild your support system, if that is the case.
Being with your support system can be the fresh air you need to start healing. They will also be there as a shoulder to lean on, the listening ears when you’re ready to unpack your trauma, and the firm hand you need incase you feel tempted to reconnect with your abuser.
4. Be Intentional About Finding Happiness Again
Do not allow the abuser to win. Be intentional about finding happiness again. This could be picking up the old hobbies you used to love, discovering new ones, or even giving new relationships (and healthy) a chance, again.
5. Be Kind To Yourself
Give yourself time and kindness. There may be times when you wish to go back, that does not mean that you crave abuse or anything. Moving on and surviving is not automatic so give yourself grace to be human.
And remember to be intentional about taking care of your mental health.
N.B: Don’t keep to yourself, share this post with someone that has survived an abusive relationship.
#Unsolicited is a segment for reviews and opinion pieces. This edition shares insights on how to navigate life as a survivor of an abusive relationship.
