Go slow or stay inside your house
Lagos traffic is one of the things that set real Lagosians apart from visitors in the city. If you don’t face traffic when you step out of your house, it’s either the world has ended or you are dreaming.
If you consider yourself an impatient person, go for a spin on Lagos roads and watch your life change for the better. In fact, Lagos traffic will bring out the hidden craze in you. Lagos traffic, we hail!
While we can write poems on how Lagos is not anybody’s mate, today is for rooting out the causes. If you see your name as you read on, just change please.
1. Not Staying Inside Your House
From our research we discovered that Lagos roads are usually free during public holidays especially the festive ones. That confirms that you are part of why there is traffic.
If everybody stays inside, there will be no traffic.
2. Unseen Forces
Despite the recent Okada ban, Lagos residents still face heavy traffic. In our opinion, there are some unseen forces behind traffic in this state. Isn’t weird that you might be in heavy traffic for over two hours only to discover that the road is free up ahead? Doesn’t that prove that it is unseen stumbling blocks that cause the traffic?
Brethren, there are bats and witches behind Lagos traffic 🙂.
3. Prayers Of Business People That Rely On Traffic
While the traffic is a source of frustration for most Lagosians, it is the answered prayer of some others. For every prayer that comes out of Gala and pure water sellers’ mouth, is a car breaking down in the middle of the road and adding to the bad traffic situation. Same thing goes for those that operate ferries as a business.
If you have any of these people around you, kindly beg them to go easy on the prayers.
4. Fuel Scarcities
Oh, you thought traffic would reduce now that there is fuel scarcity? You know nothing. Car drivers hustling for fuel at filling stations will definitely queue in such a way that will affect those of you that have fuel, driving.
Again, you know nothing, Jon Snow.
5. Problematic Roads And Their Repairers
The poor drainage system and gigantic potholes on Lagos roads will make you ‘go slow’. Car drivers have no choice but to drive gently (and slowly) when they encounter potholes. Let’s not even talk about how Danfos have made it point of duties to break down inside potholes and end up causing endless hold up.
Then there’s the rain. Most roads in our megacity have poor drainage. Most times times when there roads are flooded, drivers tend to break the one-way rule.
6. Abnormal Drivers
This one is for the Danfo drivers, the overtakers, those that disobey traffic lights and those who follow one-way. Danfo drivers act like they own Lagos roads and are never in the wrong. They just stop anywhere–even right in the middle of the road to pick up passengers.
Then, those that overtake like they are in fast and furious, please what exactly is the issue? 😭 If a car overtakes yours, must you do yours back?!
We strongly advise you invest in koboko because of these type of drivers. Wipe anybody’s neck. We dey your back.
6. Learners And Luxury Car Drivers
Dear luxury car drivers, there is a time and place for everything, but Lagos road isn’t it. You people cause hold up because you are treating your car like an egg.
JJC drivers aka Learners are not without their wahala too. If you can’t drive well yet, stay at home or add ‘learner’ to your car. But no, they will be dragging the road with people who are more experienced.
All in all, don’t come to the express road to display skills you don’t have yet🙂. Stay in your estate or compound, many thanks.
TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition talks about the causes of traffic in Lagos.
