No cap!
For the benefit of the sweethearts and angels here, capping is the Nigerian way of adding spice to stories.
It’s an umbrella term for all of the harmless bragging, humble bragging, and exaggeration that Nigerians use in expressing themselves.
Perhaps, I shall write the diasporic version very soon but for now, here are five things Nigerians say in the way of capping.
1. “Do You Know Who I Am?”
No. Nobody knows them. They are only trying to chance you. Shine your eyes.
There are unfortunate circumstances though, where the person asking this question is a casually dressed major general, in which case, we suggest that you chest all the beating because our prayers are with you????.
2. “This One Even Small”
A Nigerian trying too hard to humblebrag (but failing) when you compliment them for something.
The gods forbid that they just take the compliment graciously and move on with their lives. No, the gods forbid.
3. “I’m A Private Person”
Mega capping and the peak of unsolicited information. Oh, and a sign that they are anything but private.
With just one nudge from you, “private person” switches to a broadcaster, in one breath.
4. “Na Our Team Buy Am”
It is usually that person with neither shishi nor shingbain in their account that caps like this.
We really do get the love for the fatherland but don’t you think speaking plainly confuses your destiny helpers less?
5. “No Vex Say E Small”
When will Nigerians realize that modesty does not sit well on them? This is like their favorite punchline after giving you something.
But well, thank you?
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition highlights five things Nigerians say when capping.
