When I say green flag, you move. When I say red flag you-
Your aunt Kiki has probably sat you down and run you through a long list of “they should not do this” and “they should not do that” for you to look out for in your new relationship–a long list of relationship red flags. Red flags are signs of impending doom… indicators that you should retreat… signals that you should abandon ship. Abandon ship!!!
Everyone talks about these types of flags but not enough about the other type–Green Flags . Relationship green flags are the opposite of red flags. They are good signs, indicators that your relationship is on the right path. Here we will be looking at five signs that your partner is a keeper.
1. They respect you–and everyone else: Does your partner treat you with respect? Do they value your feelings and your opinions? Are they courteous? Yes? That’s definitely a good sign. Tene Edwards advises us to find courage to leave the table whenever respect stops being served. So if respect is on that table, then by all means, remain at the table and allow yourself to be served. It’s a plus if they respect people in general, regardless of whether these people are CEOs or housekeepers.
2. They listen to you: These days, it is almost as if everyone is saying something and not so many people are actually listening. Finding and being with a person who makes you feel heard is almost like finding raw gold. They pay attention when you tell them how your day went, they listen when you share your concerns, fears and even to your sometimes lame stories. This is definitely a green flag.
3. They are able to apologize when they are wrong: Let’s face it, if your partner can apologise when they are wrong then you’re probably dating an angel. Being with someone who finds it difficult to say sorry is a big danger sign. Imagine constantly having to draw the battle line in your relationship just to get your partner to apologise to you when they have done you wrong. Scary right? So when you find someone who uses their initiative (takes responsibility for their actions) and is able to apologize then you have probably landed yourself a keeper.
4. They keep their word: They are not like Amaka, they don’t disappoint you. A lot of us have had our fair share of promise-and-fail partners, people who say they will do A, B and C but end up doing nothing. Being with a partner who honors their word is a good sign.
5. They are supportive: The impact of having a supportive partner cannot be overemphasized. If your partner is your biggest cheerleader, it’s definitely a sign that you are on the right ship. They understand the concept of being a team and the importance of being there for each other.
How about we start to focus less on what our partners are doing wrong and more on what they’re doing right? Look out for these green flags in your next relationship. Afterwards you can self-reflect and make your own list of relationship green flags. Use this personal guide to navigate through the turbulent relationship waters.
#LoveAndShips is a relationship series where matters of the heart are laid bare. In this edition, we had our eyes on some green flags to look out for in relationships.
