Who are you in the social media space?
I’m sure you would agree with us that the social media space can be pretty wild. Whether it’s Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, a lot goes down there and only the strong can survive. On the plus side, there a lot of opportunities present themselves on the social media.
Anyhow, what is your social media personality? Let’s see if you belong to the ment association or aspire-to-acquire club:
1. Giveaway Champs
Introducing the Bloody Samaritans that happen to be everyone’s favorite. Plus you know the vibes when you’re on their page–money raining here and there. Our giveaway champs are proof that goodness still remains in this world of evil.
Boss, cut small soap for us too.
2. Show Offs
Our necks are their runaway and they must step on it. Please welcome the tension givers, the rich rich and the trust fund babes. While it is true that show offs are mostly loaded, the wannabes aka Alakada, will unfortunately be grouped among them too.
3. The Apparent Luck Magnets
Then we have these ones that are always receiving gifts and good tidings here and there. If it’s not Anon paying for them, it’s someone confessing love to them.
Tell us, how does it feel to be God’s favorite? In fact, wahala for those who refuse to stand strong like Davido advised because you will find yourself second guessing yourself, wondering if they have more than one head.
4. The Lovers
Everytime my man this, my woman that. Abeg, make una shift. It’s not us you people will tension to death.
Love no dey pay anyway.
5. Jehovah Overdo
Overdo champions, how market? These ones are always doing too much. No matter how much you tell them to relax, they will just keep creating issues that will make innocent bystanders feel second-hand embarrassment.
Like chile, sis, some posts really need to stay in the drafts. No need to overshare.
6. Gossip Mongers
You will always find them camped under the tweets where people are firing at each other. If they detect the violence on ground is quite serious, best believe they will hit the follow button faster than light so they can still enjoy the gist when the fighters make their account private.
7. The Ghosts
They barely post anything–everything will just be blank. But, you know what? They are online and observing. They’re in the same group with those that believe maturity is not posting one’s WhatsApp status.
Rest.
8. The Monitoring Spirits
These are your secret fans, spies, and village people that follow you just to get updates about your life or business. They don’t even care about you, they just want to see how far you’re doing in life.
Even Judas did not do his own like that.
9. Hypers
Their own role is to gas you up with their comments, likes and reposts. Even if they hyping your nonsense. Angels still exist in this world of evil–apparently.
10. Bambiala
Even though we are all in the trenches, some people too dey beg. Anahn! If Davido says giveaway, you will see them there. At least do it from a burner account.
Signed, your fellow trencher.
11. Self-Made Influencers
Once they have a viral post that people interact with, they will suddenly find it hard to follow back. Like, who is your fan? They are also the ones to follow and later unfollow.
12. Receipt collectors
For every time you cap on the internet know that someone somewhere has made a screenshot–even before you delete it. Lucifer is still learning work in gathering receipts compared when it comes to these ones.
13. The Haters
Also known as, “No joy”. They are always waiting for you to slip up so they can spew rubbish. Well, you know the medicine for haters; wise quotes from Bobrisky or James brown.
14. Cruise Masters
Real life is hard so they come online to escape and catch cruise. They can make you laugh and still laugh at you. Everything is fair game to them so, take their posts seriously at your own risk!
As we share the grace on this post, ensure you jejely disclose your social media category in the comments section. Before we start calling names!
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition features different types of people you will meet on social media.
