How Nigerian are you?
Say you’re Nigerian without saying you’re Nigerian. We’ve put together a list of everyday phrases that Nigerian uses and what they really mean.
How many of these phrases can you relate to?
1. I’ve Not Read Anything
Everyone that went to a Nigerian university can relate to this one. It usually comes from students who have read the front, middle and back of their school books.
If you think you and them are in the same boat, just know you’re the only one getting a big fat F.
2. I’m Already On My Way
Says the man or woman who hasn’t even fully woken up not to talk of leaving their house.
Add another hour to their arrival if not more.
3. Have Fun
Nigerian babes association are you there? This one is usually from a displeased wife or girlfriend.
What it means is that there will be a big fight if you dare go out to chill with your friends while you leave your boo all alone. But yea, have fun.
4. I Dey Your Back
This is usually said by friends or family to their loyalty to you. Most of the time they are indeed behind you, just very close to the door.
Better pick your battles carefully. Once you enter a serious mess up, they will quietly exit and you’ll be all alone.
5. With All Due Respect
Whenever you hear this particular phrase, expect the worst form of disrespect to follow. What the speaker really means is ‘I’m about to insult you and your forefathers but this is just the preamble so, you can prepare yourself.’
6. Send Me Your CV
Says uncle Tunde–your mother’s friend’s brother-in-law, who knows fully well that he won’t do anything with that CV but still asks anyway.
You can send it but don’t bank on him, start job hunting on your own.
7. Let Me Call You Back
This one is a personal favorite and we’re guilty. When someone says this to you, just go about your day as usual. Remember, no expectation = No disappointment.
There most likely will be no returned call for that day.
8. I Am Not Happy
Says the Naija babe you just talking to. If she says this, don’t ask why, if your wallet no full ground.
It usually ends in debit alerts. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
9. I’m Not Ready For A Relationship
Says the girl or guy you thought you were in the talking stage with. This time it’s actually you and not them, it’s your fault for not being their spec.
Sorry ehn, you can’t be everybody’s type.
10. That’s The Last Thing I Will Ever Do To You
Na Yoruba demon o. They will still do that thing they swore never to do – just that it’s last on their to-do list.
Be vigilant.
11. Our wife
If you’re not yet married but his friends call you “Our Wife”, there might be cause for alarm. Your boo is currently taking you for an idiot but you don’t know because you are busy playing house wife.
Prepare ahead with our heartbreak playlist. You’re welcome.
12. I Just Like You AKA My Intentions Towards You Are Pure
Most of the time, the people that say this truly do like you–but not for the reasons you think. It’s usually because they want to put their whole hands in your cookie jar and dip.
Beware!
13. Your Dress Will Be Ready By Tomorrow
From your tailor’s mouth to your ears. Tomorrow as in, next month or the year after. Your tailor doesn’t even know which colour your fabric is.
Make it a point of duty to regularly show up at your tailors shop unannounced to track the progress.
#TheGoodStuff serves up some light reading with 2 shots of humor and a dash of sarcasm. This edition explains the true meaning behind common Nigerian lingos.
